Mad about Myself

Earlier today, in fact, about an hour ago, I was talking to Diana.
We were talking about my point of view about women normally in general and how they often used to go for looks alone when it came to me. With that saying.. They never came to me.

For me, being overweight was more of a reason to see who would like me for who I am, and not go for looks. I found that person in Diana. She cares for me for who I am and nothing else. Sadly she took this in the wrong context.
Maybe I just explained it the wrong way...

But why i'm really mad is, that I never EVER wanted to hurt her. In fact, i still don't want to do that. Diana was and still is very special to me.
She truly is my best friend and soulmate.

And now I hurt her. And it breaks my heart. I love this girl, more than I should probably admit righht now. But I care for her very much.

She's the only one in my life, where I feel alive and happy with.
Someone, which I know that cares for me.

Gah, feel like crying now.

I just don't ever want her to think that I think she likes me for looks or anything.
I admire her for everything that she stands for and i truly would go through heaven and earth, just to make her happy. And I know deep in my heart she's the real deal.

I'll go to sleep now.. hopefully being waken up by her.